To Forgive or not to Forgive: That is the Question

I remember reading in a book called “How Faith Works” by Dr. Fred Price and in the book he said that the most important subject a Christian should learn once they are saved is the subject of Faith. A person may say “I disagree with that. The bible says that love is the most important thing.” Yes that is true but I’d argue that it takes faith to love the way God calls us to love. I’d also argue that it takes faith to do anything that God calls us to do. Hebrews 11:6 tells us that without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. Even at the most elementary level each of God’s commands rely on faith that He actually exists and He is a reward of those that diligently seek Him.

I bring this up to say that it takes faith to walk in forgiveness. Forgiveness is not a natural response to a wrong. It takes faith that God is a just God and He is telling the truth when He says “Vengeance is Mine” in Deutoronomy 32:35.

Before I get into what Jesus says about forgiveness I want to cover a few things forgiveness is not. Sometimes it’s a misunderstanding of what forgiveness is that makes it so hard to do.

Forgiveness is defined as the disposition or willingness to forgive.

Forgiveness is not ignoring the wrongs that have been done to you. For example if you steal money from me or deceive me on something forgiveness does not mean I ignore that and continue to put myself in a position to be taken advantage of.

Forgiveness is not giving up or acknowledging that a wrong hasn’t been done against you. An example of this is if someone has slandered you or accused you of something hurtful. Forgiveness does not mean that you are condoning those accusations. You can still resist the slander and accusations and still be in a position of forgiveness.

I think this one is a big one. Forgiveness and Restitution are not the same thing. Restitution means a restoration to the former or original state or position. Forgiveness is immediate and is not based on the response or any actions on the part of the offender. Restitution is a joint effort by both parties and takes time and often includes counsel and accountability. An example of this is a woman in an abusive relationship. Forgiveness does not mean that she has to stay and continue to suffer abuse. She can get away from that relationship and still forgive that person.

Most people can see the ability to forgive more clearly once the misconceptions are removed. My next part will deal with what Jesus commanded in regards to forgiveness and scripture examples of forgiveness in action. I pray this helps someone to begin the forgiveness process.